To be or not to be

Why is it that the me I want to be or envision isn’t the me I am?  Is it lack of will power, commitment, knowledge, or all?

I want to be someone who sews, but I am terrible at it! But months have gone by and I haven’t taken a class or even looked up how-to’s on You Tube.  I want to be fit and lose weight. I make plans to go to the gym at 9am and then I watch tv and the hours on the clock tick by.  So then I wonder, is this who/what I really want to be or is this part of my vision of what my idealistic vision of a person should be? I tend to do that.  I get visions of how of I think holidays or family events should be. I have such high expectations for this perfect image that I hold in my head. Of course, my expectations are never met and I get disappointed and fail to enjoy the event.

I know we choose our own destiny, but why do I put so much energy in choosing it and then avoiding it?

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