Life’s Plan vs. Mine

Sometimes I feel like the day to day stuff gets in the way of me becoming who I really want to be. Or am I just living life so mindlessly that I’m not making conscious decisions?

Lately, I feel like having a baby has enabled me to have the time to really think about who I am and who I aspire to be. There are a lot of areas I want to grow and improve in. I can usually spout off my aspirations quite easily. But somehow I wake up and go on autopilot. A week later I realize that I wasn’t working towards any of my goals and sometimes was working completely against them.

I want to eat clean and healthy and then, before I’ve even tasted them, I’ve eaten half a bowl of jelly beans. I want to exercise yet I’ve just watched the sun peak and set as I sit on the couch.

Do people who are living their goals make every movement consciously? Or does it come naturally? Do I need to give my head a shake?

I feel like I can’t simply say I want to do or be something. I need to map it out in excessive detail and review that detail daily in order to follow through. Which is tough to do when you’re sleep deprived and tired. But I don’t want to live my life through excuses.

So back to daily to do lists and goals.

Today a girlfriend of mine reminded me about lent. I’m not really religious but it seems like a great opportunity to give something up to focus on a better cause. I’m deciding between giving up meat or TV. Giving up meat is something I want to do anyways, so TV seems like the better choice as it would be tough but rewarding (I should have caught up on my shows tonight!!!).


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