Hiking the Chief

I recently hiked the Chief with my daughter strapped to my back. It was a tough one, but very rewarding.

Check out my article on West Coast Active Moms.

 

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Yeah me! I can really do it

So tonight I got all ready to go the gym: made a bottle, got dressed, fed and changed A, got us all loaded up in the car and drove there. Only to be told the daycare was full and I would need to come back in an hour. Yeah right! I would get home sit down and never make it back up. But I reserved the daycare spot and drove home.

I was determined to go back. I didn’t even allow myself the consideration that I could stay home. Usually, I would convince myself that I could just workout at home after A had gone to bed (and wouldn’t).

One hour later, I was driving back and in the gym! I felt so proud of myself. And that is why I workout.

All it takes is a little perspective

I’ve been down on myself for being so out of shape and failing to lose the rest of my baby weight. As I’ve mentioned, the more I think badly about myself the harder it is to work out (weird, I know).

But this morning, I brought a friend to the gym to keep me motivated. She’s a new and single mom too. I planned out a circuit for us and a few minutes into it she said, “who needs a trainer, I’ll just work out with you. I could almost puke!”. It made me realize that while I’m not at my pre-baby fitness level, I’m working out and a lot fitter than some people.

I came out of the gym on a total high. I’m sure some of it was the endorphins from exercising. But I also felt totally proud of myself. I’m bringing sexy back!

I deserve so much more

For me a sentence that starts with ‘I deserve…’, gets me in trouble.

Today I wasted the day with the thought that I deserved to relax after a busy weekend. You would think doing something that you think you deserve would make you feel good. So why did I progressively feel worse about myself? I finally made a last minute push and sent myself to the gym at 6pm. I came home feeling great! I thought I deserved to relax, but rather than watching dumb tv (which made me feel even worse because I had originally vowed to watch little to no tv) I could have gone for a walk or a workout or even read a book. Instead my relaxation choice made me feel bad and in the end added to my level of stress.

I often find that I feel I deserve to be thin. So out of spite I will eat poorly or not workout. How ridiculous of a thought is that?! Does someone who chooses not to workout or eats like crap deserve to be thin? Um, no! But then my inner voice kicks in and says that there are people out there who do that and they are thin, so I should be able to also!

In the end, I think I deserve to be proud of myself. To do that, I need to do the things that will make me proud. I just have to work at remembering which things I’ll be proud of.

A Night Out

Tonight I had the glorious pleasure of going out while my brother stayed home with A. She was sleeping and made for an easy babysitting job.

I haven’t had a night out for over 3 months. Now I didn’t go crazy or anything. I simply went to the gym. (Have to keep up with my daily challenge!) But I almost skipped there. I worked out with a grin on my face. It felt so good to be out and not responsible for A.

I need to find myself a sitter. I had forgotten how it feels to have time to myself. I’ve had A in daycare while I work, but that’s not quite having time to myself. It’s crazy how something so simple can feel so good. I came home and thanked my brother knowing that he didn’t understand what a gift he’d just given to me.

All this time I thought I’d been spending time on myself by soul searching and self evaluating. But spending time by myself is just as important.

I’m on cloud nine. And I know tomorrow I’ll be recharged as a mom and ready to tackle another day.

Back to Reality

I was dreading the activity I had planned for myself today. I’d arranged to go snowshoeing with a girlfriend and her son who is two weeks younger than A. For some reason, I get major anxiety before snowshoeing. I’m not sure exactly why. Maybe because I’m afraid it will be too hard or because I always do it with someone else and I’m nervous I won’t be able to keep up. Either way, once I start I’m always fine.
Today, however, was a bit of a wake up call. I am out of shape. I’ve never been a skinny girl, but I’ve always considered myself fit. I realized today that I am far from fit and most likely almost always have been. I’ve created some alternative reality where it was ok to carry some extra pounds because I was fit. But a fit person could have made it up those hills without huffing and puffing and getting red in the face.
Time to wake up to the truth and do something about it! This week’s workout challenge will be a good start and a way to push me into some better habits.

Voice Your Goals

I did not want to exercise today. I needed a nap by 9am. It wasn’t sunny anymore. I had too much to do. But I’d made the challenge to exercise everyday this week.

I seriously considered not exercising today. Then I started to run through how I would explain that on my blog. Would I lie? Would I make an excuse? It came down to not wanting to have to do either. If I hadn’t vocalized my challenge, I would not have gone out.

I used to try and keep my exercising goals private. Especially from my Dad, who has the ability and will power to exercise every day. If you asked why, I would have told you it was because I didn’t want people harassing me on whether I’d done it or not. Or if they suggested I exercise that day to keep my goal, it would feel like it was that person that made me do it and not my own choice. But I realized today that I avoided telling people my goals so I didn’t have to be held accountable. It’s easy to make excuses with yourself, but they sound as fake as they actually are when you voice them to someone else.

So I dressed up A, loaded her in the stroller, and hauled it down my stairs outside. I went out for an hour long run/walk (and by that I mean mostly walk with a few minutes of running here and there). And I really did feel so much better once I was done. On to tomorrow.