Failed Dieter

I recently tried to complete a three day smoothie detox featured on Dr. Oz. I was positive it was the ticket to get me on track and make it easy to fall into the 17 Day Diet (a book a friend had given me). I was wrong.

I hate doing things the hard way. I’ve always searched for that quick fix that will give me instant results. You think I would learn that the quick fixes have never proven successful (for me anyways) and its only when I’ve put in hard work that I’ve seen results.

Even worse still, I set myself up for a major mood dive. I failed at my diet so what does it make me automatically want to do? Eat everything in sight. Thankfully, since I’m staying with my parents, I didn’t fall into that trap today (minus the ice cream cone). But the feeling of failure is still there.

I could have made it. It was three days of smoothies. Even though they didn’t taste that great, it wasn’t awful. But poor planning and the look of my parents’ dinner made me want to cave. I started looking for excuses to get out. A reason to justify breaking the diet. As soon as I had one, I jumped at the chance.

But it bums me out that I can’t stick with a plan. It adds to my feeling of inability to do anything. Why try losing the weight if I can’t.

I need to try this diet again. Not because I think it will do wonders. But because I know I can do it. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to prove my negative voice wrong!

When a cheat day turns into an all out disaster

So Friday turned into a crazy day that didn’t allow for any exercise (or at least that’s what I convinced myself). To top it off, I stayed at a friends that thought leaving me treats would be nice. The small cheat escalated into a complete sabatoge.

As soon as I put one chocolate into my mouth I started searching for the next item. I stopped after a couple treats and assured myself that its fine to have a treat day and miss a day of exercise. Everything in moderation right?

However, while in a course the next day I was tempted with an entire table full of pastries, cookies, and muffin. A one point in my life, food and control over it consumed me. So like an alcoholic in a bar, I sat there listening to the speaker while my mind wandered to the food and when I might be able to sample some and what it must taste like. I look around and no one else seems to be acknowledging the food. Does no one else have to force themselves to stay seated every minute rather than going to pick out a treat?

When I finally cave, the guilt starts to pile on. In most cases you would think this would ensure you didn’t eat another bite. Unfortunately for me it merely makes me want to eat more. To eat them all.

The drug-like release as I eat a bite is euphoric, but the pain of guilt and negativity afterwards knocks you over. So you continue to eat.

The temptation continued today during the second day of the course. And since I’d already failed at my goal of exercising everyday and eaten more than I should have, there was no reason not to cheat further. The pile up of failures and disappointment left me in a low mood.

I want to live without thinking I can’t have certain foods but clearly I can’t have just one. Time for an intervention! Tomorrow is Monday and I was planning on implementing a new goal. But mostly I want to focus on accomplishing the last one I set (exercise every day for a week). I will also add that I will drink 8 glasses of water per day.

Not exactly the most inspiring or uplifting post. But everyone has their bad days, I just need to remember to not let them spiral out of control.

Change takes effort but feels good

It’s no secret that I want to change my lifestyle to be more green (among other things). I am excited at the prospect of being more green and making environmentally conscious choices. With that statement, you’d thing that making the switch would be effortless. It’s not.

I went grocery shopping tonight armed with my reusable bag, mesh produce bags, and bulk sacs. It started out well; I was aiming to reduce the amount of waste I was going to purchase. I found milk in a glass container and was pumped. But I was also craving something quick and easy for dinner. I stared at the perogies and frowned at their plastic wrapping. I looked at some of the different meats and felt turned off by its container. I finally settled on frozen organic vegetarian pizza. I know the cardboard is coated in a bit of plastic and I would have to recycle the cardboard, but it felt like the best choice. Then I wanted a treat – I wanted something (somewhat) healthy and low on packaging, now that is hard to find. I also needed cheese – which comes wrapped in plastic (I know others get cheese from places where they can put it in your reusable container, but that seems to come with a large price that I can’t really afford these days). The trip started making me feeling somewhat defeated.

I went up to the till with my items and looked at what some of the others had. There was only one other person in line with a reusable shopping bag but I was the only one with any bulk or produce bags. I felt proud of my small changes. I imagine some of the people I look up to didn’t make all their changes in one day. I feel good about everything I’ve done so far and can’t wait to incorporate more into my lifestyle.

Great Green Day

Feeling exceptionally green after a super day on Saturday.

I visited the Winter Farmer’s Market for my first time and fell in love with the vibe and energy. The sun was out and shining, which can make you feel fabulous on even the worst of days. The market was packed with people toting reusable grocery and veggie bags. The bike parking lot was busy; sadly living an hour away, I had to drive to the market. The market was also packed with food trucks and their amazing smells due to Food Truck Fest.

Seeing all the fresh and local food made me want to go on a buying frenzy! Not wanting to contribute to food waste, I held myself back. Next visit I’m going with recipes in mind so I know exactly what to buy. I was excited to take home some spinach from Rosedale, organic ground turkey from Yarrow, and some new reusable produce sacs to use when shopping in the future!

While shopping I got to visit and catch up with some great friends who inspire me tremendously to be more green and socially conscious. (check out my friend Andrew’s website) Linnet shared some recent tips with me and Andrew conveyed to me that my thyme plant is most likely not coming back from the dead. They also introduced me to what appears to be the holy land for green friendly people, the Soap Dispensary. I needed some essential oil to add to my green laundry soap that  I found, while cleaning my clothes, was leaving it with a funny smell. A few drops of the lemon oil is amazing. I also had to hold myself back at this store. I am excited to get to the end of a few of my current non-green soap/cleaning products so I can start making my own with the help of this store!

The day finished sharing stories over tea and warming up from the chilly wind. I went home feeling energized and freshly inspired. My sweet pumpkin A slept the entire farmer’s market, and sadly I didn’t take any photos. But you can just imagine how huge my smile was all day!